As an avid dater, online and off, and as someone who used to work for Dating Coach Evan Marc Katz, helping clients write their profiles, I saw many common online dating mistakes. A lot of people clearly didn't know what to write in an online dating message. For instance, the more specifics you have in your profile , the more your future partner can ask you about. A study by the University of Iowa has similar advice. According to this New York Times article from February, , one in 10 Americans is signed up for a dating site , the most ever. Anyone can say they dance or read, but what kind of dancing and what kind of books? I also have a backlog of Atlantic s to get through, but I might not win that literary battle.
Online dating how long to wait for response
Need help finding a date? Among the 1, singles aged 21 to 50 in the study, 60 percent said they expected a response to a text within one to three hours and another 35 percent actually expect a reply within one hour. However, there are some who believe in playing the game of making someone wait to hear back.
In online dating and with your mobile phone, sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If your mobile phone is handy, then I believe you should respond to the text if you can in a reasonable amount of time.
butterfishny.com is the largest dating site out there, and the best part is you can try it free for 3 days. When it comes to digital dating, it turns out the cell phone has now become a single dater's best friend. Here's how to determine how long you should wait to respond to a text: Users Say Hours is AppropriateAuthor: Julie Spira. When I recommend waiting, it's because it's because it's better for efficiency. You see, if the girl lives close to you, perhaps around one hour away, you will usually be able to propose a date after you've sent five to ten messages back and forth over the course of one to two weeks. However, women should avoid playing the "waiting game". As you can see, men are often quite the impatient type, and they are prone to declare a partner cold or unresponsive if they fail to give a response in time. One day is the longest period of time you should wait as a woman, but it's safer to delay it for half a day .
Typically you get into a groove. He might send you a text message every morning to brighten your day.
Apr 01, I think a huge part of the reason why online dating seems not to work for a lot of people who use it is that people spend SO MUCH TIME not being themselves. They spend SO MUCH TIME thinking about hour-rules, or how to compose the "attractive" or "perfect" message. Sep 21, How Long to Wait for a Date? Reverse-engineering beliefs about the distribution of response times in online dating using Bayesian modelling September 21, by Mark. Online dating how long to wait for response - Rich woman looking for older woman & younger woman. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself. I'm a lady. My interests include staying up late and taking naps. How to get a good man. It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman.
You might send him a few text messages during the day about upcoming plans that night. You could go an entire day without ever talking to your guy, while exchanging up to 10 texts a day, and life would appear to be normal. Does that mean he slept with someone else last night and is busy texting her instead? Treat it like you would any other type of communication.
Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better.
I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message. OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer.
But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc. Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet.
Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good. Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses. But I wouldn't worry about this one message. Because, you know, it's You happened to be by the computer, so you responded promptly.
It would be silly to hold this against you. If I had to make up a rule, I'd say: respond hours after getting a message.
Subtext: you're not so insanely busy that you have no time to attend to your personal life, but you're also not that guy who always responds right away. As a disclaimer, this is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid.
Not being a woman, I obviously could be wrong about how women perceive these things. Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating.
But really, I just respond when I get a chance.
I assume people realize that there are random fluctuations with this kind of thing. As long as I respond within 24 hours, I don't worry about it. If I find myself taking days to respond to someone's message, I take it as a sign that I'm not actually that interested. B Maybe.
Respond To Her Texts... Later
C As long as you feel like it. Look, you don't want to send off a bad email because you wrote it quickly and sent it without thinking. But waiting extra time just to not seem too eager or available or whatever is absurd. No one who's interested in you is going to stop and say "crap, morganw is interested in me and wrote back too soon, fuck that guy," and certainly no one you want to date is going to have that reaction.
Wilson at PM on April 1, [ 1 favorite ]. I really don't think that appropriate response time is tied to gender so much as it's tied to personality. So framing this as "will women think this" or "men think that" is misleading. Some people like to reply to things right away, as soon as they see them.
Users Say Hours is Appropriate
They are not the type to overthink and ponder perfect messages. They're likely to be the type to agree to meeting up as soon as possible, perhaps even that same day.
There's likely a variable of interest that factors in too-if they like your profile, they'll be more likely to respond quickly. This is the kind of dater I am when I'm on OkCupid.
Some people don't like to appear too eager and prefer to take time to compose a thoughtful message that digs deeper in to someone's psyche. These are the people who are likely to have more extensive contact before meeting someone and will plan things out far in advance.
So to give the right impression - that you are a busy guy with hobbies and lots going on and hardly any time for chit-chat then check your ad-related mail only once a day and then respond to any emails from potential dates met online or offline 24 hours after you receive them. The speed of someone's response will depend on their online dating site habits and their level of interest in a match. So, when communicating with a match it's best to wait at least seven to ten days for a response. Failure to respond doesn't necessarily spell a lack of interest. All these people are like "I don't wait and just get pleasantly surprised!" are probably sending out a volume of messages that won't work in a city with less than a couple million people. If you live in more modestly sized city, you will need to employ my patented technique to fire-and-forget.
If someone appeals to them, they may spend even more time planning out their response. Obviously, there are types in between these two ends of the spectrum.
And when people match in their styles, communication is easy and trying to mindread the other person is minimized. When there's a mismatch, there can be a lot of confusion and angst on both ends. In the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If the other person responds well to it, great!
If not, then who knows, it might be an indicator that there were fundamental differences in communication there to begin with, and you just saved yourself the time and trouble of finding that out some other way. If you did this 4 times in a row, I might think it was a little eager. I just figured you happened to be online when you get the message. Don't over think it.
How Long Should You Wait to Respond to a Text?
I know we all do it, but I constantly forget to respond for several days or just can't think of anything clever to say or am too tired to write any kind of vaguely interesting reply. It doesn't mean I'm not interested. Some people log into dating website once a week or less.
Especially on a free site like OKcupid where you have nothing to lose by being a very casual user. If you had waited longer and she hadn't responded by now, you'd be asking us if you waited too long.
There's no way to know what she's thinking. Writing back within the hour is not gross. Formulating a well-thought-out response is not gross.
Someone wandering away after just one interaction for whatever reason is unfortunately normal, online and in real life. One more piece of advice: avoid checking her profile to see whether she's logged on.
A few reasons: 1. If you want a response, you need to give them something to respond to. Pick a few intriguing things that they said in their profile and go from there. What else is he cooking? Just use the little information you do have, mutual Facebook friends or the person's location, and ask away. Sure, some people still do it, wait a few days before messaging an online person back. Usually, though, they can see when you last logged in, so what does waiting really prove aside from showing that you're busy and writing to other people?
I know that sometimes we log in just for a moment and don't have time to write back immediately. However, you don't want to lose momentum yours or theirs if you wait too many days to write back. Think you're scared to message a guy?