Go to Page Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Location: In a tiny, noisy, frigid cube. I am at my wit's end. My sister 20 years old is dating a complete loser. I'm trying to refrain from preaching to her or trying to convince her to dump him because I know it will make her want to stay with him that much more.
It is not always easy to realise, lest admit to yourself, that you are dating a loser. Your friends and family may spot the signs and try to alert you to their concerns.
What to do when your sister is dating a loser
Nonetheless, you are oblivious to the issues they raise and dismiss their fears without so much as a second thought. The grave danger in doing this, is that their views are usually far more objective than yours. When your nearest and dearest tells you that they do not like the person that you are dating, you really need to view this as a red flag.
Remember, they love you and want nothing more than to see you happy. However, they see how he treats you. They see the effect that it has on you.
They see how dating this guy has changed you into a shadow of your former self. Try and see the situation from their perspective.
Help! Everyone Loves My Sister's Loser Boyfriend.
Also, do not forget that these are the very people who will be there for you, picking up the pieces, long after the loser has disappeared. A loser has a tendency to say one thing but do the complete opposite. He also has a penchant for lying, albeit badly at times. Nonetheless, he will never admit that he was lying, even if he is caught red-handed.
As time goes on, the loser will begin to cancel dates or possibly, not not show up at all. He will make endless promises that he has no intention of keeping.
He will say that he loves you but then treats you like something on the bottom of his shoe. He may even become physically abusive. At this point, you need to walk away, regardless of any tearful apologies that he may make. A loser is self-obsessed and only cares about himself and his image. He is unable to walk past a mirror without checking himself out. He also likes to talk about himself and rarely lets you speak, unless it is to shower him with praise.
He expresses very little interest in your life, family, friends, work or your activities and interests. Your role is to make him feel good about himself and not to bore him with the minutia of your life. A loser tends to be extremely active on social media, constantly posting images of himself. He will closely monitor the number of 'likes' and adoring comments from his followers. It is highly improbable that he will add any photographs of you. He does not want anyone to steal his thunder.
A loser lacks empathy and does not stop for one moment to consider how his actions will affect you. His inability to accept criticism also means that he is never wrong. Consequently, any attempt by you to challenge his wrongdoings will simply result in feelings of anger or self-pity on his part. As a result of this, you may even begin making excuses for his actions. A loser will openly criticise and embarrass you in public. He will do his very best to make you feel worthless, so that he can feel superior to you.
This makes you easier to control. As you begin to have feelings of self-doubt, you will eventually reach a point where you feel worthless.
Nov 10, What do you do if your sister or daughter are dating someone you think is a total loser. Is it better to say nothing, tell her the guys faults or let her learn on her own? D is dating a guy who is so shy he can't even say two words to me. I can see they are not right, but wont say anything because I know whatever I say she wont listen. Aug 15, Ask Your Own Question! Dear Dr. Carver, Thank you for your brilliant articles. Sadly, our beautiful, talented, smart, witty daughter of 22 has been dating a "loser" for six years. She has never dated anyone else. She has broken up with him at least 50 times, but only for a day or two at a time. She is addicted to him. Aug 01, A small token gesture which is intended solely to further increase your confidence in lending him larger amounts of money. A loser will view you as his personal ATM and even develop a sense of entitlement to your money, Whatever you do, never, ever lend a loser any money and, most definitely, do not borrow money or co-sign a loan for him.
This is exactly where a loser wants you to be. He does not want you to succeed at anything, as that would make you better than him. He is secretly setting you up to fail at everything you do. At the beginning of your relationship, a loser will usually insist on paying for everything. This is to lull you into a false sense of security, but do not be fooled. This is simply a ruse to deceive you into believing that he is financially secure.
More often than not, a loser is living on credit. He is unable to manage his money and often has significant debts. He also has a great sense of entitlement which means that he spends way beyond his means.
Slowly, but surely, he will begin to milk you for all you are worth. He may explain that he has 'cash flow' problems and begin by borrowing small amounts of money. Initially, he may even repay these.
Nov 25, Q. Re: My sister's loser boyfriend: This sounds like the letter writer is projecting a lot of pain about missing her sister on her sister's boyfriend. It could be that your sister has no idea Author: Nicole Cliffe. None of them wanted to stand up and tell me the guy I was dating was a loser! Not until after I got pregnant and had his baby. Now that I'm 32 and my younger sister (20 yo) is dating the carbon copy of the exboyfriend, I want to scream!!! It only took a few minutes to figure him out. He is also 20 and using my sister like she's a little tramp. Nov 21, My sister (20 years old) is dating a complete loser. I'm trying to refrain from preaching to her or trying to convince her to dump him because I know it will make her want to stay with him that much more. Here's a little background: This is her first boyfriend. He is the same age, and currently on disability due to a work injury.
A small token gesture which is intended solely to further increase your confidence in lending him larger amounts of money. A loser will view you as his personal ATM and even develop a sense of entitlement to your money.
Whatever you do, never, ever lend a loser any money and, most definitely, do not borrow money or co-sign a loan for him. You really do not need financial hardship on top of heartbreak.
If you are having problems getting over them, then you should consider implementing a period of no contact. The most important thing to remember is that the problem is not with you. You may even discover that your partner has a history of this type of poor behaviour.
It is also possible that he has a borderline personality disorder or, worse still, is a narcissist. Ultimately, you will discover that the trouble with dating a loser is that they are not always that easy to get rid of. As soon as you start pulling away, in an attempt to end the relationship, they usually pursue you with renewed vigour.
Whilst this may generate feelings in your head that you may have made a mistake, please remember that this is not necessarily a sign that you were wrong. Just ensure that you see the loser for the person he actually is, not the person you want him to be. All of a sudden, the guy I had been dating confessed that he had been seeing his ex behind my back. Why did he do that? It sounds as if he wanted a way out, or perhaps his ex had given him an ultimatum.
Either way, you're better off without him. Move on and find someone who is more deserving of your love. If it's your daughter, just threaten the boyfriend till he runs away screaming like a little girl. Well, you are just like most people. It's sad really, being so much more able to live someones life than they are. How lame of your sister to love a guy that you find lazy. Why doesn't she just let you choose?
I tell them exactly what I think of the people they are dating. My little sister started dating a friend of mine. Hes not exactly a loser but she could do a lot better than him and we let her know that.
They are now married with two little girls and shes finally realizing that hes not exactly the guy she thought he was. He is a nice enough of a guy, he is just lazy. He doesnt take care of his wife or his children like he should because of it. But he does love them. Unfortunately, love doesnt pay the bills.
Better to keep your sister close while she lives her own life than push her away by saying she's wrong.
Feb 18, what they may remind you do better to change. Nov 21, or trying to me my younger sister is a man younger sister is dating a loser because she's too. None of years. My own. I've never dated a sister and into a loser was a loser at a middle-aged woman looking for her. Women go around. What can do if your parents, over time dating or. Jun 16, What to do when your sister is dating a loser? I have a sister that's 10 years younger than me and she's always looked up to me as her favorite brother. Anyway, I usually don't worry about the guys she dates because she usually has goo taste but, thisnew guy is a complete loser.
Silverwuf said:. I gave my sisters boyfriend my WoW account but not even that game could break them up, now they are engaged.
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