This he believed was because it allowed for better communication and understanding between one another. Here is a look at 6 cts of this pairing that might explain the INTJ INFJ attraction and why these types can go well together in both friendship and dating. They can be a formidable team who works in concert to accomplish a singular goal that they can agree upon. Both types take some time to warm up to someone before they can begin to slip into their comfort zone but that is because they want to test and feel out another person before they let down their guards. INFJs by comparison may have more difficulty leaving an unhealthy or unsatisfying relationship since they have the tendency to hold out for the idea that they can fix it or improve themselves or the other person over time.
Thanks again! INTJ thinks in systems and data. Provide evidence. Think of a lawyer building their case in a courtroom. Is there a system for loading groceries in the back of the car correctly? Oh yes. Save yourself the stress and just let them have those Detective Monk moments.
It really makes them happy. Are they flexible? People say that the condition of your house is a reflection of your personality. INTJ have no sympathy for people doing something stupid or for someone suffering the consequences of poor decision-making. Everyone else in this world wears a mask. INTJs are honest and truthful.
You know exactly where you stand with them. No mask. No fake laugh or false politeness. The ability to be quiet together cannot be overstated. The world is crazy and exhausting.
The time you spend together is like a cocoon that shields you from the world outside. Very much appreciated for two personality types that are rare and are often misunderstood. Can you tell me more about this dynamic?
We have been best friends since we were in seventh grade. Over the past 22 or so years, we have seen each other through divorces, horrible relationships that she stayed in for nine years - way too long! We have been there no matter what happened simply as best friends; neither of us harbouring hidden feelings for the other. That is, until I had helped her escape an abusive relationship referenced earlier.
Shortly after we were taking down a broken limb dangling in bittersweet veins and the sparks starting flying higher and faster than a steel mill. Within three days I had broken up with my girlfriend and we had our first true kiss.
Our long lasting loving link illuminated a sexual likening that neither of us had ever experienced! Our innate ability to communicate our wants has afforded us comfort, pleasure, and security. All of this is without realizing it, her mild OCPD works well with my rational mind and my messy organization-style works with her creative side. I am a scientist, she is an artist.
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We complement one another in every way possible: help with character defects, discuss a wide variety of topics from Czarist Russian history to the latest advances in physics without missing a beat, educate, support, foster creativity, and deeply love each other.
I am honoured to say that we are currently engaged and plan to wed on I am the luckiest man in history. And I the luckiest woman! One of our daily rituals is to write down two things we are grateful for in a journal.
If a major issue arises, we state the issue and exchange gratitude lists. This allows me to ponder the issue and understand her feeling which, I rarely can articulate on my own.
Following this separation, we can then approach the subject in a calm, cool, and collected manor. We have only had to do this one time - I am an alcoholic and she saw in our bank statement a purchase at a liquor store. She was concerned and thought that I had relapsed. By utilizing our predetermined discussion scenario, I was able to quell the understandable feelings she was having by explaining that I was helping a fellow alcoholic in active addiction to stay safe until he could get into a detox facility.
However, we thought it pertinent to mention that this article ought to be taken as general guidelines in lieu of a rule book as every pairing is different. Finally, I wanted to mention that we sat here together writing this comment. What a wonderful way to spend a Saturday morning!
Both of us were in some relationships before, we actually talked and shared it. He knows I was in a mentally abusive relationship, and I know he was put in a live changing decission by his ex. However, slowly but surely, his patience gives me hope to my self.
Not only introvert, I am not expressive a rather poker face one which maybe not surprising to most INTJ and it is difficult for me to process my own feeling. All wee need to do is take deep breath and reflect the feelings will come to your mind and your can eventually word it out somehow. This is interesting. My best friend is an INFJ male who has patiently helped me sort out my emotions as I had buried them deep inside for over 20 years.
Three days later, it dawns on me what it is and then I understand his perspective. Thanks for a great article! As I read all the wonderful comments about this pairing here and other places, I feel increasingly nostalgic for a time when we were just as amazing and equally hopeless for where we are now.
Together 21 years - oldest child now 21, then a 16, then a 13 year old. If we fight, its devastating for both of us.
Jun 28, INFJ Flirting & Dating: How to Attract an INFJ Each personality type has their own way of flirting and connecting with others. When it comes to romance not everyone approaches it the same or even shares the same relationship values. INFJs have a very unique approach to romantic entanglements, but they do value them very [ ]. I'm an INTJ female, had been in a really good friendship with an INFJ male for more than 20 years before he finally asked me to properly date each other. Both of us were in some relationships before, we actually talked and shared it. He knows I was in a mentally abusive relationship, and I know he was put in a live changing decission by his ex. Feb 07, Describe an INFJ-INTJ relationship - its challenges and advantages.
However, the idea of separating when in conflict may be beyond brilliant. I generally prefer a book or learning something new than having a woman around. She stubbornly refused, as I know her ex was still what she felt for. I need someone who wants to understand me, stands up to me, criticizes my behaviour privatelyand accepts me. Deadly accurate description. Again, as in INFJ fighting is scary. It just is. Be brutally honest INFJs! Tell them exactly how you are feeling, be calm and straightforward.
Infj female dating intj male
Again rulesINTJs can easily process rules. Do you feel the same? Beat the INTJ to the punchtell them about themselves, and how it affects you. This seemed to impress my boyfriend that I knew what he was thinking.
Butwhen we separate, I am scared that I will never hear from you again. I will only feel better if we resolve the argument. How can we fix this? And just for the INFJs happinessknow when to say no. Know your red flags. INFJs have a tendency to hang on too long in bad relationships. So here is what I do, maybe it will help: One and done. It has to stop. Do not treat me like that again. Luckily, my boyfriend as changed immediately when I approach him as such.
And I for him. So the short version: be blunt.
I am dating an INTJ male and I am a INFJ female. I am 34 (divorced 2x) and I can honestly say I have never been happier. We just get each other - good and bad - and allow each other to be who we are independently and in the relationship. Wish I would have met . Jun 16, INFJ men seem to be even less emotionally forthcoming than we women are, but when they allow themselves to be affectionate, it's wonderful. they know intuitively what you'll respond to and what will make you feel loved, half because it's the same thing as they want and need. This one is very (pardon my extreme nerdiness) Gryffindor. ISTJ - These are practical, responsible and private people. These traits appeal to an INTJ. INTP - It is the intellectual and socially awkward side that draws the INTJ to this type. ISFP - Sensitive and nurturing, this type wants to create a caring environment, something the INTJ loves. Slight Differences. INFP; INFJ; ISFJ; ISTP; These personality types are the next best thing for INTJs.
INTJs are awesome people, but you need to spell out your feelings. But you can do it.
Thanks for the comment. I think that is good advice for INFJs. Not just with my INTJ partner. I will need some time to think on it. Can we address this issue again tomorrow? Are we good? From 4. I saw many things that I find it will be hard to get along with this women from the start of the relationship.
Friends, I am wrong for my whole life. I cried when I read 4. How did I let this happened to this women? I am a piece of trash. I dont deserve her love. I love her. But I know that I cannot get along with her. I am in a real pain.
I am in the process of a divorce from a ten year relationship. It should not have lasted as long as it did, but children were involved. They were observing a loveless and one-sided relationship. It still surprises both of us how in-sync we are. I wanted to be a better person and get into leadership roles, my wife was diagnosed with medical issues that both changed our perspectives and outlook. I can tell she is fighting herself over trusting her own INFJ feelings and of course I have been trying to live in the moment like she did.
I just needed to be there with her. It took awhile to figure out my wife I never needed to fully understand her before. She is my other half.
10 things to know about yourself as an INFJ woman
Jan, I am glad that your relationship as blossomed for so long without any major changes. I hope this helps in case you both start becoming more like each other! I was in a peaceful relationship for two years in high school when an INTJ came and swept me off my feet. When we were pushed together under social circumstances, to my horror, I quickly realized that he was more interesting and more fun to be around than my own boyfriend.
When things got rough, he would retreat into himself. I wanted him to talk out his feelings with me, or spend more time with me. Then I reached out again. I asked to remain friends, but I ended up kissing him. Shortly after, I started college 3 hours away. I was going to visit him once a month as his casual sex partner. The idea drove me insane but I preferred it over never talking to him again.
Unfortunately, that ENFJ turned out to be incredibly manipulative. He listened intently, and offered to verbally destroy the ENFJ for me.
I developed a newfound respect for him. He would rarely text back, but when he did, it would be something wacky or perplexing. I would visit him once a month, and instead of just sex, we would have a lot of fun. Very slowly, I could tell I was becoming his most important friend.
It was very confusing.
And he is still enthusiastic to see me whenever I visit town. Even though me and him are different people, I think I may be able to give a little insight into what is going on in his head. I just knew and felt something was wrong about it all. This often gives the appearance of not caring about those around me, which is paradoxically completely the opposite of reality; I do and always have cared deeply about those around me, especially those who I share an intimate connection with.
Which I did, for a long time. It took me a very long time before I started to develop a worldview and understanding that allowed me to form healthy relationships again. Good luck! Thanks Will. I may not be Amy, but your response did provide me some comfort. I appreciate you taking the time to share that. Thank you. Would luv any input on how to put my infj sensitivity to good use in letting go of my intj best guy friend I ever had, like a twin brother in my mind.
He has stonewalled for years at a time, locked the door to our relationship. It happened twice before, and both times he came back to me but it took years! We both have had mental health issues and both sought help, and my health stabilized.
He seems to have become a complete recluse from more than just me. My main question is how do mental health issues impact infj-intj friendship issues, and how each responds?
Any articles yet? Thx so much, SP. I am the one who obsess to get to our destination as quick and efficient as possible, while he is the one who pays attention more on music and comfort while driving lol.
I am so competitive on the road while he is so chill and laid back. Thanks for bringing that up, Gurl interrupted! I had thought the same thing when I read the article. As an INFJ, I am way more concerned with choosing the fastest possible route and making the necessary lane changes well in advance, whereas my INTJ husband spends so much time in his head he is usually on autopilot. But sometimes I let it loose too. Did you not see it? The site here was helpful and your email responses were too.
I just wanted you to know how appreciative I am for help and diligence. I think that you may have slipped into your accuracy mode when he was driving, and if you are an accuracy user like the INTP or INFJ and you say something to an INTJ it can come across as a criticism to his effectiveness, then the ego defenses go up he slips into Authenticity and it results in an argument. INTJs as you know are very prideful of their competence, and if what someone that they value such as yourself critiques them they take it way harder than that of a stranger, because they are more vulnerable when they love and care about someone.
His getting angry is a good sign by the way that he deeply cares for you and values your opinion and values you. I hope this helps. Hi Jacques! Thanks for your feedback. Your insight helps a lot. You are spot on about the need for NTJs to be perceived as competent - especially by people they value and respect.
I have recently been exploring how data is perceived so differently by Ti vs Te. They will ask the object of their affection about their inner thoughts and feelings, wanting to really dig deep.
They want to see deep into their soul for a moment and feel themselves connecting to this special someone. When this INFJs reaches this point where they want to flirt in this way, it means they are truly interested and feel something special.
For the INFJ one of the most obvious signs they are flirting with someone, is simply by how much time they invest in them. They want to be around this person and show them that they are valuable and important. Even when the INFJ feels something strong for someone, it takes time for them to expose the many layers of who they are.
They often have steps and it is a long process for them to fully feel themselves comfortable enough to show every part of themselves.
The more the INFJ trusts this person, the more they show themselves and express who they are inside. Being able to do this is probably the most exciting and terrifying thing for the INFJ, since it leaves them feeling so vulnerable. This is why connected with someone romantically can take a lot of time, and patience. When the INFJ does reach this point it can really be wonderful both for them and their partner. The healthy INFJs is someone who is truly amazing in relationships, and willing to go above and beyond to make this person happy.
They will do whatever it takes to always be supportive and kind, never selfish or inconsiderate. INFJs are excellent listeners who actually enjoy spending hours hearing what their partner has to say. INFJs can be rather romantic people when they feel comfortable doing so, and can really find unique ways of doting on their partner. One of the most prominent INFJs qualities is their fierce sense of loyalty and protectiveness. When they love someone the INFJ is extremely protective of them and will always stand in the way of people wanting to hurt this person.
They can be a bit frightening to anyone who does hurt the person they love most, possessing a ruthless side that not everyone knows about.
Any choice you make is the right one for you. I highly recommend either of these courses to discover the power of parenting with personality in mind. Susan is an INFJ herself, and a parent to five children.
Why do we do this? We always see areas for improvement-and not just for ourselves. This is why I help my coaching clients recognize and celebrate their accomplishments. That alone can remind us that we ARE making progress. It does not equal attracting narcissistic persons. These are questions I've received many times.
5 Signs an INTJ Likes You
Are these possible for INFJ women? Of course. However, the INFJ personality type is not synonymous with these things. It wasn't built for that purpose, and its usefulness breaks down under those conditions. I don't think she exists. As women with a rare personality type, though, we can find ourselves feeling different than many of the women we're around. We may come across as caring and nurturing, but don't overlook that icy stare in our eyes when you ask us to sacrifice our integrity or go against something we see as deeply meaningful.
We're emotional, but we can be quite logical, too. Do NOT underestimate us. Only 2. We use a dominant information-gathering perceiving process that is mostly used by males. What does this mean exactly?