I'm 22 I've been 3 relationships that have all ended badly, by finding out that I was cheated on. I learned about a month after my last relationship that my first girlfriend was just using me. I always thought that she had justed cheated on me but one day while walking to class I ran into her best friend. We got to talking and she told me the whole truth, that my first girlfriend had just used me the entire time to make herself feel better, that the entire time we were dating she had been using me because I made her feel pretty and she would then turn around and use that positive energy to go back to her boyfriend that was mentally abusive to her. Her friend told me that she was sorry she never told me the truth and that both her and my ex would both say that my ex was an idiot for treating me that way because I was the "greatest guy ever". It was 2 years later until I met someone else that I liked and started dating.
I am more focused on my education and I hope to find someone who is in school as well and has similar goals concerning education. Unfortunately I see more women my age in school versus men.
I hear that!!!! I am 45 and when I was younger, I had many more chances to date and meet men, now it is much harder. So noted. I agree with ya.
Not only is it hard. It could be we as women can be picky well so can men.
Should i give up on dating and relationships
I have given up on relationships for now. I been burnt back to back and I am tired. I am gonna heal first, and I mean completely heal. I would not rule out dating but that as far it goes just a DATE. That is a good idea, I think I will do the same thing. I would like to just go out and date also but are there men out there who just want to date and nothing else? And what do you mean by a date?
I have been on dates like going to movies, dinner but that is some serious dating! Now more casual dating is going for coffee or ice cream. But who wants to do that LOL!!!!
A date to me could be anything movie, harley rides, coffee, walk in the park, ya know something that both people can enjoy with a good converstation and no pressure of wanting any sex.
I for one, gonna hold off on that Now that is true, the best date is where two people get together and just have fun doing things they both enjoy, bowling, jazz concert, walking, talking, just enjoying being together.
In this economy, eating at McDonald's and good conversation might just be a good way to get to know someone. You can also try fat girls on pof, because they got low self esteem. Looking at my life, i have seen the relationships i have got, be it real relatives or even loving relationships so called. I feel it like a drama lol! If i get into the real time relationship, i would play my best shot, but if i regularly fail for some reasons, or non availability lol of authentic offers.
I would give it up. I already am building myself to work for cause, and then i would land in social service, and with tonnes of relationships. You just don't need romantic relationships ya? Experience the journey!
And ofcourse Karma! Although i need my mentors around, few friends to share laughs at distance or near. And a goal to strive for!
I was married for twenty years and my wife died about five years ago. I have only recently gotten back into dating.
I read your story with great interest. If I were you I would invest some money and get help from relationship counselors and or hire a life coach for a couple months. To be quiet frank i have met many women who could be considered users or players. I mentally have just turned them off. And i am not perfect by no means.
But i realize that i am not perfect, i also realize it is the 21st century and the dating dynamics have changed. I have just turned forty this past month but have kept myself physically strong and jog and work out regularly. I could pass for age thirty. In your case i would seek some help from somebody somewhere and reevaluate what you want from women. I admit since my wife died i sought solace in the arms of escorts.
I was not ready for a mental relationship. Everybody and my friends were trying to set me up with divorced women with children because everybody thought i loved kids. Not that i did not like children i just did not want to be a step father to anybody elses children. So it is funny when people expect you to be a certain person or someone.
It can be heart breaking indeed. Maybe you should take a break from dating and become the best person you can be. I've read your story - and first thing I'd like to say - and in all honesty, is that, I know how it feels to be in love and to think the new relationship would work, after a first one broke off The feeling of being in love with someone you're in a relationship with, is indescribable, in a sense, but when it breaks off - relationship-wise, it feels like it's killing you on the inside My answer to your question is an honest 'No'.
There are really good women out there, like there are really good men out there. I, on the other hand, have to start looking since I hadn't dated anyone in nearly 5 years. There is a pro to being single, I must say, and that's not having to worry about being used and abused or being cheated on or being accused of a number of gross things.
But, there is a con to it - like everything else, and that's not having anyone to talk to or show love to - well, besides family and close friends I don't know if my response was helpful or not - or encouraging, for that matter, but I tried I'm certain you know most of what I just said in my response since you've been in your share of relationships.
Jun 29, Not sure when you should be giving up on relationships? Here are the red flags you should be looking out for. hurtful behavior, it is better to just walk away. Talk to local resources offering help for dating or domestic abuse. it is never too late to walk away. Some of the best and healthiest relationships involve people who never give Author: Syliva Smith. Jun 17, If people want to give up on women or men when it comes to dating/relationships, it is his or her right! Society cannot dictate people into relationships! Some people give up because mainly they get tired of being constantly seen in an negative way, being hurt, or being discriminative by the opposite sex because they are not part of the crowd. The fact of the matter is that many men do give up. We hear from them regularly on this sub. But the reason most men don't give up is because relationships with women are what most of us want, and this is just the game you have to play to get it.
In my personal experiences, I've been in relationships before - with men I've been in love with, of course. Why my first one and I broke up was because he made me believe he loved me when he really didn't - and he and I dated for 5 months - almost half a year - and the last 3 months were marked with neglect and shallow behavior What took a confession of his TRUE feelings, was through a friend of mine - whom I grew close to more than he and my current-boyfriend, until that time Ever since then, I've been in the single market.
THAT'S another reason why my former 2nd boyfriend broke up with me when bad times occurred for him, he broke up with me just to save me more of what he thought I would handle I'd try to get some help from a counselor, at best I'm aware of needing help with my personal issues - and having a distrust in most men, are one of the issues I think about turning myself into a stone-hearted person and not care about anyone's feelings - well, except for my friends and family.
Sometimes, I just don't want to love anymore due to having the tendency to get hurt at the end. I don't know what else to say in response I thought about saying my personal experience, I must admit, just to let you know you're not alone in how you feel. I know there are advantages of giving up on relationships, but there are advantages of being with someone else.
Forgive me if I came across as non-empathetic, aloof and selfish. I try not to be that sort of person. I'm I know your story too well. My current state of mind is two-fold; In times of stability, women can afford risk and excitement. In other times stability and safety are priorities. Regardless, the gene pool spawns males across a range of 'thrilling' to 'nurturing' because the gene pool can not predict the circumstances encountered by any particular generation.
Additionally, Males benefit from having thousands of years of grandfathers passing down "what it means to be a man". Women do not.
Culturally, older women have been so rare that until the last century or so, the common paths for such women were goddesses, priestesses, queens, nuns, spinsters, witches, or something equally unlikely. Given this, gals today are walking uncharted ground. Is staying with this person going to uplift you and encourage you to continue seeking joy?
Or is staying with this person going to bring you down and discourage you from going after what you desire out of life? Remember, it is never too late to walk away. Some of the best and healthiest relationships involve people who never give up and continue to grow with one another. If only one person is choosing to grow, change and move forward, is the relationship going in the right direction?
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom.
As a writer at Marriage. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one. Dumb Little Man. Share on Facebook. Like this Article?
Subscribe to Our Feed! Author: Syliva Smith Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Web Twitter More Posts 4.
Follow Us. March 18, We were going to get a place together, but he was stressed about having the money for the move and a down payment on a place in timeon top of moving all his moms thousands of knicknacks and finding her dogs a home.
This is why i did everything i could to help himand look how tf he repays me! I even told him i loved him a few weeks before this happened when I had too much to drink. I quit drinking because of that night, and to help myself of course, but a few days after me going completely sober is when he left and never contacted me again. To think that he had her in his bed the same night i was, and she was cool with it and so was he!
I recommend setting the limit on self pity at 10, 15min tops, per day. Any more dedication then that and you are working on a self fufilling prophecy. Otherwise, just concentrate on being a version of yourself that you enjoy if not love, and don't. You should focus on your careers first then think about relationships later. There will always be someone out there waiting for you, but if you jump in early and ruin yourself no one will be there for you at the finish line. Dec 18, Twenty five is a bit old, it is possible that something you are trying is chasing them away. Without more details, it would be impossible to nail down what that is. Some thoughts, talk to friends and family, ask them to be brutally honest with you.
He has treated you without respect. Your relationship has ended. The closure that you desire is not owed to you. Allow thoughts of this person to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere.
Determine what you want for your future without him. Do not attempt to reach out to this person. If he reaches out to you in the future, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings.
Have a great day, Em! I am 48 have never been married and have no kids. I have had opportunities in the past, but I let them go. To me it feels like my time is over, every year I care a little less.
Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Each person chooses their life and makes decisions that influences their future.
Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Phil! I spend my life with books now and music. Allow your emotional and social desires to influence you in a positive direction. This will ensure that positive people and energy will enter into your life. Focus on your current life and observe each moment. Have a great day, Isabella!
Should I just give up on relationships? experience. i too was 22 and had 3 awful relationships. in the rural locality that i lived in you either knocked them up or moved on. dating wasnt a long term thing. in many a small town, folk get married and pregnant at a young age. its a way of life. Dec 27, Rachel and Quinn, the lead characters of the hyper-meta show about producing a reality dating show, embody exactly the ethos I was obsessed with: do you, do your work and don't give a f-ck about men. This attitude is reflected in so many of the women characters we love right now. Abbi and Ilana, Mindy. Pitch's Ginny Baker. Even Lorelai and. But from your posts, I gather u don't have many family members or friends in the area that u live, so it seems extra-lonely if u give up on dating while there. I'm so introverted that my friends tease me about it, but your life sounds a bit too quiet even for me.
Before the social disconnection of the television, internet, sub urban sprawl, we had a society that was mainly based upon the persons village.
It was just easy to find someone back then.
I Gave Up On Love And Dating?
We seem to have a society that says that you are only worthy of a partner if you are hugely successful. Average People have mainly suffered for it. In the meantime, the less successful suffer.
What are we to do in our loneliness?
But being single is now almost normal. There is no substitute for a relationship and the benefits like sex that come along with it. All humans need love or they become dysfunctional. Our society is dysfunctional and I think you can trace that to the breakup of the family.
Us singles, with no hope of relationships, must fill the gap somehow and hope that future generations will correct this malaise for the sake of mankind. We must find something that we love. We must find something that is a close substitute.
Thank you for sharing your positive comment.
It is clear that you understand the important of sharing your kindness and compassion with everything in your life. Please feel free to share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Dan! Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. Choose to make whatever decision you want with your life. You have no obligation to establish a close, intimate relationship with a romantic partner.
You also will find no benefit in acting in a harmful manner.
You will find that positive energy and people will enter your life by sharing your kindness and compassion with the world. Have a great day, G! I am 34 and I gave up on dating after being in 2 long term relationships one of them was marriage. You can make whatever decision you feel is best for you. It is certainly acceptable to choose to no longer risk harm by maintaining a relationship.
If you decide to change your mind and nourish a relationship in the future, then please share your insights and experiences at that time. For now, you will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Dina! Society cannot dictate people into relationships!
When Should You Give Up On Dating?
Some people give up because mainly they get tired of being constantly seen in an negative way, being hurt, or being discriminative by the opposite sex because they are not part of the crowd. It is a stressful thing that some people do not want deal with anymore, and they rather just give up on wanting a man or a woman. However, it does not stop these people from valuing other kinds of love like self-love. Plus, society is so messed up that it is a waste of time pursuing romantic love.
Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. We always appreciate when members of our community share their insights and experiences. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future.
Have a great day, Willie! Thank you. Is she going to expect me to take her to a fancy dinner? How many cheap dates can we go on before she ghosts lame out of the blue? Will she expect me to text her everyday? How often do we meet? Does she want me to spam her all over my social media profiles lest I he accused of not loving her? I could go on and on. Just do what feels natural and be yourself. If you talk to her the amount that feels natural to you and she accuses you of not loving her enough, then she is clearly not the right person for you.
Remember, dating is ultimately made for finding a partner to marry, so making every woman you date happy is not actually the goal. Instead, you are trying to find someone who matches your personality and who you can be with long-term. Throughout my life, women made me promises and never followed through on them. One almost got me killed.
I now keep my relationships business-like and avoid any personal connection, and live much more calmly and serenely. Your experiences are valid. Please share more of your positive comments in the future. Have a great day, Neo! Well I as well love women, at one time I was very active in dating and sex. But a few to many bad experiences and the haste it was becoming I just gave it up.