You have been dating someone for a few weeks or months and decided to give the relationship a try. The simple thought of that conversation intimidates you. You start to imagine all the different left turns that that conversation can take and freeze. Will he understand? Will he be on board? Will he be annoyed? Will he be angry?
Participants starting a 12 step recovery program are usually advised not to engage in sexual relationships for a certain amount of time in order to stay focused on the program. Then there are persons vowing celibacy for psychological reasons. One, in order to develop a new way of thinking to change cts of their lives or take time to recover from a past relationship. Many single parents commit to sexual abstinence and learn how to stay abstinent in a relationship just to raise children.
Such platonic relationship rules give enough liberty to the women who are advised to date and enjoy the companionship of their male partners, but wait at least three months before getting sexually intimate with their partner because it establishes many relationship benefits. Regardless of the reasons a person may choose sexual abstinence, it does not mean that the person does not want companionship.
They still have the need to intimately and emotionally stay connected and date but with the understanding that there will be no sex. Many people maintain intimate platonic relationships for months and some for years before committing to marriage.
Couples learn how to deal with abstinence in a relationship since platonic relationships have their own share of benefits.
Platonic Relationships and Sexual Abstinence
But, one needs to understand the pros and cons of abstinence before committing themselves into an abstinence relationship. In conclusion, there are medical, religious, psychological, and social reasons why people choose to engage in platonic relationships with sexual abstinence. The benefits of platonic relationships without sex give partners time to establish and strengthen trust, respect, and commitment to the relationship.
On the other hand, it can introduce several partners into the relationship if boundaries are not set. These type of relationships may not be the best option for marriages unless a professional doctor has mentored it. Take Course.
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Therapy Issues. Find a Therapist. All Rights Reserved. He was confused and taken aback. I think we said very little about it and for the rest of our time together. I was so floored, I could have cried if I wasnt so hard headed.
We continue strivig for this and he is super supportive, its encouragig and waems my heart? Hey,thanks for this blog post.
HONEST Q&A: ENDING THE BAND, WAITING TIL MARRIAGE AND PREGNANCY
The next morning he asked us to kneel and he prayed to God for us and asked God to be our guide through this. I thank God so much for him and we are doing okayI feel it that he might be the one.?
What if you already have had sex and your boyfriend, and you live with each other, but now you are working on improving your relationship with God and walk the path of righteousness how do you have this talk.
Hey Yoli, you do the same as mentioned in this post. With the difference that you repent and work out a way to talk about it before. There is no guarantee that he will be down for it, especially because you live together. I am currently living with my boyfriend, going on 6 months now.
I have been trying to study the word, keep myself busy with work. He is very affectionate and wants to have sex, but Everytime we are intimate Im convicted afterwards and ask for forgiveness. I am expressed this a little to him and he feels a slight guilt but not for long. Hi Vic, I can understand that this is a hard decision because you have built a bond with your boyfriend. But please understand that it is not on him to facilitate your conviction.
If you feel convicted to stop, then you have to make the decision to end the physical intimacy and be prepared for the consequences. You might find out that your fear of being alone is greater than your desire to obey God. I really thank God for this post. We work in same company, we do everything almost together but not to the glory of God.
Like it just happened. So i decided to search for purity and i found this blog. Thanks so much. As a man, I want to clarify something. I hope this will be as helpful for men as for women. If a man feels this way, it means that he either is crossing his boundaries, has a lust problem, or is addicted to sex.
In those cases, the man continually experiences sexual tension building up. If he is teasing his body through things like cuddling or kissing, he needs to acknowledge his weakness and give up what he must to be pure before God. If he experiences sexual tension from merely being around a woman, that is definitely a lust issue. You may hear men have issues regarding what the women wear or how they act.
I think it is respectful for women and men to be modest. But, a man is capable of resisting lust even when confronted with a nude seductress. It may take him a while to detox and renew his mind in God to reach that point, but it is possible. Are men predisposed to be incapable of resisting sin? To say so places a lot of power upon women, and it simply is not true.
Relationships. Sex can be a beautiful experience. It can also be a very emotional experience. That's why it's best to abstain, or wait until you're in a committed, adult relationship - like marriage. Abstinence does not mean never having sex. It just means waiting until the . Sep 27, He asked me what was the difference between dating and marriage. It should have been a straightforward answer on my part, but I was stumped. Just like abstinence is . The most basic reason is simply because it is an expectation of God. Besides that, however much the world pretends otherwise, sex creates bonds and vulnerabilities that are intended to be safeguarded within a permanent relationship. Few people can.
If you are a man or are a woman dating a man who feels like he NEEDS sexual release, I encourage you to dig deeper into the root cause and to seek God. You can overcome it, but, if it is more than a simple boundary problem, it will take time to renew the mind.
Marriage dating relationship and abstinence
Anyway, I loved the article. With how sexualized and perverted modern culture is, there is a strong need for Christians to teach the proper role of sex and how to go about issues around it. Thank you. I am a Christian, and one thing I hold really dear is sexual celibacy before marriage.
Sep 24, Can Abstaining from Sex Be Good for Your Relationship? September 24, by Ashley Papa. Healthy Relationships Abstinence can help you recognize the value of your significant sex, love, dating, marriage, and "crimes of the heart". 0 0 0 0. No Comments Yet Comments are closed. Subscribe. Elevate your love life with practical dating Author: Ashley Papa. How To Discuss Abstinence With Your Boyfriend. You have been dating someone for a few weeks or months and decided to give the relationship a try. But in order to proceed with the relationship, you need to have 'the talk' and are asking yourself "How to discuss abstinence with your boyfriend".
My girlfriend seems to hold same virtues if I will hold her by her words, and most times I feel that I should. However, I am scared. She seems to complain so much about her feminity breast pain, sexual urge e. What do you think I should do?
But maybe she just needs you to hug her sometimes, kiss her hand, caress her face, show her affection. Thanks for this post. I met a guy and we agreed to date each other. Within the first week of our relationship, I brought up the issue of celibacy. What should I do?
If kissing is out of your comfort zone, then stand your ground. I am so grateful for this post. This could help them.
This article resonates with me so much. In the last couple of days I was finally able to hold my ground and open up to my boyfriend about celibacy.
We have had sexual relations before, but prior to that I really wanted to save it for marriage, and he understood that at that time. In the 5 years we have been together, while we did keep our sexual relationship, I was also working on deepening my faith. I exposed myself to scriptures and prayed. I also attended personal development and life seminars. And in my spiritual journey, the value of purity became clear to me. At the end of the day, my greatest mission in the world is to be good and do good, and glorify God.
And with that, wanting the same for others, the desire for me and my loved wants to go to heaven, I also found that my mission is to do my part in helping others also achieve that. He gave examples, such as journaling and praying when he does get sexual urges.
I love my boyfriend so much, and I really hope and pray he is the one.
My ex and I broke up three months ago after being together for 10 years we started dating when we were I was really heartbroken so I spent a lot of time in prayer and reflecting on the relationship in order to understand what went wrong and what lessons I needed to learn from it. I realised that one of the main issues was that God was not in the relationship. We were both christians but Our relationship did not reflect that. A few weeks ago my ex got in contact with me saying he would like us to work things out.
Hey Danielle, thanks for sharing. I totally get where you are coming from. You need to get to a point where your desire to have peace, honor God, and do what is right for you is more important to you.
But I want to respect her decision because i really love her but im having a hard time controlling myself when things get intimate between us, how should I stop myself from this urges? I really want to make our relationship work and im afraid if im not able to stop myself she will also give in to me and I wil feel like im the bad guy that lures her into disobeying her values.
We lost our virginities together, and I was the initiator. He told me multiple times beforehand that he would respect my boundaries in the relationship but I fell into the temptation first.
How should I bring up my feelings and decision to him? I recently shared with my boyfriend of over 2 years that I needed to make this decision to honor God. I explained to him that he could benefit from this decision as well. I am in a place in my life where I desire to live for God and give my all. We experienced a terrible miscarriage last year and my walk with God has changed for the better, over these last months. He is aware of this story and said that he is not going to walk out on me because of sex.
I have to really keep praying because his urges seem to be greater and more frequent after our conversation.
Prior to our talk, we could be together and he would never try anything. He also has made a few sarcastic remarks about not getting sex but claims to not be upset. I am not begging him to stay nor do I feel the need to give in.
I just wish he had a better understanding. Or maybe its time to part ways.
Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Justine is a certified dating, relationship and life coach who has been blogging on justinemfulama.
Her purpose for this site is to help women attract and maintain a godly relationship, by teaching self-love, mastery of the mind and confidence. Her dating advice and relationship advice is faith-based but practical and sourced from her own and other people's life experience.